You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
