no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
