I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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