wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize