Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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