I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
