sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
