wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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