I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
