But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
