he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
