You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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