I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
