At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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