why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
