my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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