Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize