Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
