So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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