If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
