Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
