White coat. Heels.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
