Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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