im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
