With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
