Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
