But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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