Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
