Me too!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize