Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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