I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
