wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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