wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
