I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
