I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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