I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
