Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
