The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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