If that was your dad, he is hot
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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