Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
