Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
