Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
