"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
