Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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