it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize