I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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