Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
