Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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