If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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