just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
