What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
