Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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