Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Boobs are out for the taking
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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