my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
