I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize