Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
