I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize