im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize