i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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