I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Your cock deserves a montage
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize