A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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