its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
