I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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