u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
