This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
