we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize