Nicole vs. Life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
