just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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