You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
