Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
