I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
