he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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