Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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