so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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