that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
