the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
