Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
