I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I touched a dick in church today
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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