I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
