Christians are straight up FREAKS
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
