I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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