Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
