i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize